Back to the beginning

This title will summarize this blog in more ways then these next many thoughts will. I guess I should introduce myself first. Hi! My name is James, I am a nearly 21 year-old as well as a college sophomore at Otterbein College in Westerville, Ohio. I was born in raised in Gahanna, Ohio(the next Columbus suburb over from Westerville) my whole life. I enjoy music, running, the occasional good time, day dreaming, and contemplating life's great mysteries without all the pretentious bull shit of course. I work for the Columbus Metropolitan Library and it's a great experience. I have 2 siblings, an older brother, and an older sister and yes I still live at home. At Otterbein I am a history major, I plan to pick up a major in education as well, but have been putting off those classes because I don't have to take many of them, and the ones I have to take are pretty time consuming.

Either way, back to the beginning. For all of my high school years, I kept and maintained a blog over at www.livejournal.com. However, with the busy-ness of college and a sense of maturing and growing up, I found myself removed from my blog there quickly. Well, it seems I am back now and at this site. I feel like this is a new beginning, and life's new beginnings are always something I tend to enjoy. Plus I might add, I feel like this blog site is perhaps more serving to the older crowd whereas livejournal was much more aimed at the teen crowd which I can no longer assosciate with. So here we are now.

I am nearly halfway through college already and it seems almost yesterday I was just applying. As I get older, it seems as if the days keep flying on by more and more. The hard times passing quickly is certainly a nice aspect. But the good times floating by so fast is certainly disappointing. I see myself gaining more responsibilities and becoming more independent daily. My own mother often tells me "James, you are a grown man." An acceptance I once found I wanted so badly as a high school lad but am now sometimes wearly to accept. I am busy I will admit that with the given level of responsibilities I undertake but acceptance of adult hood is difficult. I always felt like at one point you just wake up and realize "Oh I am grown up." But I realize now that this is simply a misconstrued ideal. We are never grown up, grown up implies that we are done growing and we as humans are always changing, always striving for bigger and better things. It's the essence of what keeps us alive. If we had nothing exciting to live for, and everything in our life was "done." Well what the hell would be the point of that?

I contradict myself somewhat in saying this, but a lot of me wants to say fuck it to most of my human brothers and sisters are searching for in life. Money, Success, Fame, Glamour (to quote Party Monster) is just more self absorbed self-masturbation, self-perservation. I want to do stuff with my life, but I really don't care if I get remembered for it. Attention seeking, glory hoarding. It bothers me, but well that's that. I am not going to go on a anti-humanity route I just started on.

On a more pleasant note, I don't expect anyone to really get into this blog other than myself. But than again it's for my own sanity's sake.

Cheers!